Tuesdays with TJae - Give Their Shyt Back
Give Their Shyt Back. Yes. You read that correctly - misspelling and all. Give people their shyt back.
Yesterday, I had two unrelated conversations with women who I consider friends. They were EXHAUSTED. Their stories were filled with frustration and sadness and very little peace.
One of the things that happens as a result of all this good quiet time that I keep encouraging you toward is that you get clear, masterful even, about what does and does not belong to you.
What was common in my friends' stories, and may also be true for you, is they are carrying around a lot of shyt that simply does not belong to them . . . . feeling other folks' pain, solving other folks' problems, living other folks' trauma. Phew! I'm tired just telling you about it.
Something true about shyt - we have enough of our own. If you've ever packed up a house to move, you know all too well how very true that is. Same goes for emotional shyt.
The difference with our emotions is that we HARDLY EVER stop and unpack it. AND we continual pack other folks things in with ours. Sometimes we've had other people's shyt so long, we can't remember if it's actually ours or not. That's okay for the sweater you borrowed from your college roommate in 1990, but not (NOT) okay with other folks' drama.
Both friends apologized for dumping their stuff on me. I was glad to say in return that I could listen without taking it in or owning it. I am clear that just like most of what they shared didn't belong to them . . . .it definitely doesn't belong to me.
If you are holding on to stuff that doesn't belong to you - give it back. I can hear my friend Andrea reminding us to return it back to them with love so it doesn't ricochet and cause more harm than good.
If reading this has tensed you up and you're suddenly overwhelmed at the thought of going through all those bags to see what stuff is yours - I recommend blowing bubbles. It really works. You're always welcome to come blow bubbles with me.
Just a thought.
One more thing . . . on February 29, 2020, I'm hosting an event called 100 Voices: A Women's Dinner Dialogue on Race & Culture. I'll share more about the motivation behind the event in a later Tuesdays with TJae, but just wanted you to know that registration is open. I have a few discount codes, but you've gotta let me know you're interested.